She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
