ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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