she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
time to smoke my breakfast
it glows. i had to have it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
