i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
