The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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