i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
