I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
