I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
