Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
