We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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