Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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