forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
