seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
