dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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