once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
