The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
