There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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