he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
