Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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