Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
