Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
