You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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