Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
