I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize