im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
