Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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