i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just had sex on a roof
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
