i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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