from now on my penis is your penis
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
bring money and cleavage
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
