he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
