I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
