i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
