You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
