worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
sex in a hospital.. check
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
