i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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