glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
