You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
