I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
