Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
