The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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