Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize