Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
