Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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