yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
