You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
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