it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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