Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize