He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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