Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
