i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
