Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
