I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
