Those balls look pretty dangerous.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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