I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
