so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
