bring money and cleavage
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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