From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm like, not good at living.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
