you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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