Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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