Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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